Let’s face it. Mothers get run through the mill, and not just once, but throughout their whole motherhood.
Pregnancy makes us fat, pimply, undesirable to others and feels like a ton of bricks in our uteri preventing us from taking a decent poop.
Childbirth is one of the most painful and scariest things imaginable, and some of us who miss out on the vaginal tearing may be the “lucky” ones who take home a few episiotomy sutures.
The “Mommy” Years….
Breastfeeding may seem convenient in theory but being beaconed at 1:35 am, 2:48 am, 3:27 am, and/or 4:12 am gets old pretty quick.
Infancy gives mom some nice moments, the ones we fantasized about during pregnancy. Baby looks up at Mommy with those big blue eyes, connecting and giving a sweet little baby smile….only for it to be gas, followed by spit up or poopy diaper…
By toddler age, the average mother is sleep deprived and becomes paranoid that anything can happen to her baby. This paranoia and exhaust give rise to a “Mommy face” and she begins to shrill “NO!!!!!” at every move the baby makes.
Image from scarymommy
Grade school is no walk in the park as the kids leave for school and find new “authorities” and truths in matters you spent years teaching them. “But my teacher says you’re WRONG” is the first of many emotional blows.
Middle school turns kids into hormonal brats. That’s all I can say.
High school becomes maternal hell as kids want nothing to do with their parents and beg for their release. You’re told that under your reign which you thought was full of love, guidance and shelter, was instead “torture and imprisonment”.
Image above from wallstreetcn.com
Then they leave. Some go off to college, some get married, some get high. Either way the mother is left behind feeling alone and unloved. We look in the mirror and see frown lines, gray hair and droopy breasts. Not only is our baby gone, but so is our youth.
So what can you do to make it all better for mother?
Well the easiest and cheapest present you can give your mother is to call her by the name she deserves.
Give her an “I love you Mommy” when you hug her and memories of contractions, childbirth, sleep deprivation, back-talking and financial ruin will be erased. Bring her back to a time when you thought she was a benevolent goddess who ruled yours and Elmo’s world.
“Mom” could cut it but you’ve said it a million times and usually followed by a demand or a “you don’t know what your talking about”. I’d either transition this one back to “Mommy” or say nicer things to her after you call her “Mom”.
Calling one’s mother “Mother” is pompous, rude, and distant. “Mother” means she’s related to you biologically and you’re being strictly academic about the relationship.
And don’t act shocked by this. “Mother” is also apart of the term “Mother-in-law”. Its a miserable name. You might as well be calling her Hitler.
CALLING MOM BY HER REAL FIRST NAME
First names like “Sue” or “Myra” may be cool to say when you’re an adult but mothers don’t want to be addressed by you the same way her boss or parole officer addresses her. You’re special and one of very few if not the only one who can call her “Mom” or “Mommy”. Its a gift and one so unique that why break this nomenclature bond.
My mother Kay….oops I mean “Mommy”
Too hard to do? Oh come on. Give Mommy a hug and a kiss and a memory of when she felt loved by one of her favorite people on this earth. This may win you a day of her not being shrill with you……
My Mommy circa 1971
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Daliah Wachs, MD, FAAFP is a nationally syndicated radio personality on GCN Network, iHeart Radio and Board Certified Family Physician