Posted in Health, news, sex

Losing One’s Virginity: Breaking it Down

Many adolescents and young adults ponder this life-altering decision with very little guidance.  And understandably so as discussing losing one’s virginity with one’s parents fails to be a popular dinnertime conversation.  And big brother and sister don’t always give accurate and unbiased advice.

In Biblical times it was easy….one was told to “wait till you’re married.”  The timing, partner, and societal acceptance was already laid out, eliminating much decision-making.

Today, however, there’s immense pressure for both boys and girls to lose one’s virginity, for many as early as middle school.

So the average child or adult contemplating losing one’s virginity relies on social media, television, movies, friends and classmates to help form this decision.

So what does one need to take into account before they lose their virginity?


It’s permanent

You’re only a virgin once…..until you lose it, meaning you will never get it back once its lost.  Virginity is not a bad thing so don’t give it up so quickly.  If you have any doubts on who to give it to then he/she is probably not the right person.




It’s not the ultimate show of love

Many times teens are goaded into having sex as a sign of their true commitment and love.  Yet there are many other ways when a relationship is new to show your compassion and dedication.  Love is a feeling, not an act.


It won’t always resemble what you see in the movies

Unlike what we saw in 50 Shades of Grey, losing one’s virginity may instead be 3 minutes of pain and awkwardness.  Love-making includes love, passion, intamcy…so if that’s how you want to lose your virginity than make sure all the ingredients are there first.


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There is no “golden” age in which one should lose it

In school, students commonly boast about losing one’s virginity before 16.  Yet this random choice of age has no scientific basis.  True, many of us in caveman days had full families before that age, but in today’s society, a teen pregnancy is not that easy.  Which brings us to….


You could risk getting pregnant

Most young single teens or adults are not ready to start a family, despite their youthful fertility advantage.  Hence one unprotected sexual encounter could make a soon-to-be ex-virgin a new mom or dad within 9 months.


You could risk getting an STI

Likewise a night of what you anticipate to be passion could give you a week, month or lifetime of a sexually transmitted illness.  Condoms are a must.


Many may lose their virginity when they don’t want to

Tragically many who engage in pre-sexual activity such as foreplay or 1st through 3rd bases may find themselves in a situation where their partner advances to penetration without their consent.  Many thus lose their virginity to rape.



A recent study last summer carried out by ZavaMed found 31% of those surveyed , specifically 45% of women, regretted how they lost their virginity.  Unfortunately they can’t take that moment back. Which brings us to….


Alcohol is not your friend

Many unfortunately lose their virginity when they lose their inhibitions due to alcohol.  One drink is all it takes to bring one’s guard down.


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There’s no doubt losing one’s virginity is a rite of passage into adulthood. It could be the most amazing  and beautiful moment or one full of cringeful regret.  So don’t rush into giving away what could be your most precious commodity.


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Daliah Wachs, MD, FAAFP is a nationally syndicated radio personality on GCN Network and Board Certified Family Physician


Nationally Syndicated Radio Host, Board Certified Family Medicine Physician, Author

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