Posted in Health, news, relationships, sex, Valentines

How to Show Love (Without Being Uncomfortable or Awkward)

Valentine’s Day is here again, and expectations are high when it comes to displays of affection.  But for many us, our attempts at being romantic feel awkward and fake.  “I Love You So Much” may not breeze out of our mouths naturally and a poorly executed show of emotion can be worse than no show at all.

So let’s look at some creative ways to show affection that can make a lasting impression….

Don’t use the word “love” if you can’t

Many people will expect the word to be used right out the gate when a relationship hits the “love” level.  Even if you are comfortable with reaching this level, you may have a difficult time saying the word love.

So don’t. Tell them you want to tell them that you “love” them but the 4 letter word doesn’t even begin to describe it.

“I want to tell you ‘I love you’ but it doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel about you…..”

You can also reach for other vocabulary that may include:

  • devoted
  • enchanted
  • infatuated
  • cherish
  • worship

that may be easier to say….

Also telling someone that you are in love with them flows a little smoother than I love you, taking the directness out of the equation.

Valentine’s Day: The Least Liked Holiday of the Year

A picture is worth 1000 words

Don’t worry if you are inept at painting, sketching or doodling.  Fortunately your camera phone can make amazing art….

love rose

Image from Business Insider

 

And if you’re light on creativity, the internet offers tons of content that you can personalize and give to your betrothed.

love hands

Image from mindbodygreen.com

 

Write a small poem (or borrow one)

Poetry helps take the pressure off anything, except for those who can’t write it. So don’t try to be a Whitman, Frost or Dickenson…be you….and make it simple and sweet!

My world was lonely, cold and dark

until you brought it light

I love you more than words can say

you make my heart beam bright……

 

ugh that’s mushy huh….let’s try another…..

 

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

I can’t write poetry

But I do love you

 

ok, so if poetry isn’t your thing, we have one more option….

How to Give the Perfect First Kiss

Gifts

Tokens of love do not have to be big or expensive (if you found the right partner).  So any of the following can go along way….

  • a bottle of wine (with their name on the label)
  • a playlist of their favorite songs
  • a song dedication to them over the radio
  • a stuffed toy
  • a book
  • a gift certificate
  • a funny knickknack/ desk calendar
  • puppy

No matter what you do, honesty is the best policy.  Not telling someone you love them because you are afraid can be tragic if you both are meant to be. So sometimes explaining your timidness and how you want to express your feelings and can’t may be all they need to hear.

Good luck and Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

IMG_1781

The Baby Boomer’s Guide to Online Dating

 

Daliah Wachs, MD, FAAFP is a nationally syndicated radio personality on GCN Network, KDWN, iHeart Radio and Board Certified Family Physician

Posted in Health, news, relationships, sex, Valentines

Valentine’s Day: The Least Liked Holiday of the Year

Valentine’s Day is one of the biggest holidays of the year, with consumers spending more than $20.7 billion a year in the US buying cards, chocolates, flowers, and teddy bears.  But what no one admits to is it is one of the most anxiety producing and miserable holidays of the year.

If you’re single….

When you’re single the last thing you need to be reminded of is just that….you’re single.  Valentine’s Day inundates us with the “normalcy” of being in a relationship such that anyone who’s single feels there’s something wrong with them.  Single people feel forced to shut off the TV, avoid shopping, avoid others and remain indoors for the week surrounding Feb. 14th.

If you’re married….

If you’re married, and have been so for some time, Valentine’s Day reminds you of how much you are lacking in sex and romance.  But worse yet, you are now compelled to do something for Valentine’s Day.  No credit for spontaneity.  No credit for being romantic, since the whole world seems to be celebrating Valentines.  And… it’s all pain, no gain.  If you mess up, and your gift or celebration is not very romantic, you’re in the dog house.  And if you forget about the holiday all together…Whoa Nelly…..

The candy….

When one thinks of candy they think of chocolate, lollipops, vibrant colors…..Valentine’s heart candy is the worst candy out there.  They’re pale, hard, practically crack your teeth, not very tasty and force you to read them before you eat.

candy.jpeg

Be Mine?  Be my Valentine?

Don’t give me anymore work to do. You could be pretty high maintenance.  And what if I’m not ready to commit?

Your gift better measure up….

Valentine’s Day gifts are made to be publicized.  And even if you gave your sweetheart the gift in private, it will be posted on social media or broadcast at work the next day.  In fact, not sending the gift to their work could be a major faux pas.

gift.jpeg

So how do we make this holiday more tolerable?

If you’re single….

If you’re single, use this holiday to celebrate the friendships you have.  Make it a singles night out and celebrate your freedom.  Or make a friend feel special by sending a “friend” valentine.  These could include:

  • a bottle of wine
  • a stuffed toy (with no heart attached)
  • a book
  • a gift certificate
  • a funny poem/desk calendar

If you’re married…..

Since the gift of spontaneity has already been hijacked by this holiday, do something creative and unpredictable.  Candlelight dinner, a poem, luxury bath, weekend trip, something sappy…..but do it right and you’ll get bonus points.

Don’t spend a lot

Here’s the silver lining. Most Valentine’s Day gifts/gestures do not have to cost a lot.  Valentine’s Day is about the heart and showing one how much you care.  So a note, poem, song, personalized song list, or even a cute little doodle can go along way.

ARTERIES ARE RED
VENULES ARE BLUE
MY GONORRHEA HAS CLEARED UP
HOW ABOUT YOU?

 

What to buy a man?

We make the mistake of thinking men want what we want. Let’s take cologne for that matter….men don’t want to smell like perfume or “parfume”y….they like smelling like men.  Forcing them to use toilet water is not cool.

what-not-to-buy-for-your-man-boyfriend-worst-gifts-1.jpg

Another common gift given to men is a shaving set.  Does the average man like shaving, let alone every day? Top that off with wasting an opportunity for them to get a cool gift with one that includes shaving products???  Cruel, just cruel.

For men, many prefer steak for dinner, time alone in their man cave, or sex.  I think that’s about it.  Pretty easy.

 

So hope this helps you get through Valentine’s Day anxiety free and worry free.

And remember…. its only one day…just one day…. and will all be over Feb. 15th.

 

IMG_1781

The Baby Boomer’s Guide to Online Dating

 

Daliah Wachs, MD, FAAFP is a nationally syndicated radio personality on GCN Network, KDWN, iHeart Radio and Board Certified Family Physician

Posted in Health, New Year's Eve, news, sex, Valentines

How to Give the Perfect First Kiss

A recent study looked at how men and women instinctively move their head to the right to engage in a kiss. However, despite cranial choreography, many people miss the mark when it comes to the perfect kiss.  So here’s what you need to know to make first base the most effective and successful one ever.

1. Begin by NOT Kissing

The first move to any successful kiss is to NOT kiss.  Rushing to the physical does not allow the recipient to mentally prepare. And with women, mental and emotional involvement helps the physical act of both kissing and sex, so allow us women to collect our thoughts and desires first before moving in.

2.  Make eye contact

Look into the eyes.  Make that connection, allowing the emotions to stir.  Kissing shouldn’t be just physical.  It needs to have an emotional connection and looking into her eyes solidifies a commitment, even if it’s just a few seconds, that you will follow through with whatever she wants.

3.  Slowly introduce the hands

Slowly brush your fingers along her check, or take your thumb and gently move it across her lower lip, where you want to aim your kiss.  You can look at her while you do this and slowly move in.

Do Masks Make People More or Less Attractive

4.  Gently hold the sides of her neck

The neck offers many erogenous zones and gently, whilst subtly, engaging them will result in her extending her neck back and bringing her head up to yours.

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5.  Lean in to her forehead and then stop

You can rest for a second on her forehead, or even lightly brush your nose against hers, but still DO NOT kiss.  The kiss, just like sex, has to appear to be second or third to your making an “emotional connection.”  If she thinks you need her…. you need this kiss, she’ll be more willing to oblige, and maybe jump into it before you need to initiate.

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6.  Have your lips open slightly

If she hasn’t already jumped in and started kissing you, now is the time to advance.  Go slowly and have your lips slightly open to welcome hers.  Aim for the lower lip and brush it with your lips initially.  Never begin with the tongue!!!! Thrusting your tongue in too soon will kill a kiss immediately.  Brush, press, kiss…..repeat.

How to Show Love (Without Being Uncomfortable or Awkward)

7.  Keep your hands above the waist and away from the chest

Remember this is your first kiss.  Butt and breast fondling has no place when it comes to your initial kiss.  Remember it’s about emotion and not sex.  You can touch her neck, shoulders, wrap your arms around her waist, touch her back, stroke her hair, but handle with care.

Gone With The Wind
Clark Gable (1901 – 1960) and Vivien Leigh (1913 – 1967) star in the MGM romantic drama ‘Gone with the Wind’, 1939. (Photo by Clarence Sinclair Bull/John Kobal Foundation/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

The first kiss can be the one of the most amazing moments in any relationship. Savor it and celebrate it like the ceremonious event that it is.  Good luck, and oh…..use a breath mint first!!!

Great Gift!!

Daliah Wachs, MD, FAAFP is a nationally syndicated radio personality on GCN Network, KDWN, iHeart Radio and is a Board Certified Family Physician

@DrDaliah